The British Broadcasting Corporation has announced that Nigel Farage will be the new director of news and current affairs. The board of governors has expressed its hope that this appointment will put to rest allegations of bias and usher in an era when the BBC's coverage reflects the objective views of the majority of its viewers and listeners.
Mr Farage (who is expected to be awarded a knighthood in the upcoming Queen's birthday honours) was characteristically humble in his own media release. "It is about [adjective deleted] time. The first thing I shall do is kick out the whingeing lefties like Andrew Neil. Clearly I will have to retain one or two real communists in order to maintain balance and will consult Donald and Vladimir on this.
"I will also crack down on the use of consultants and look hard at how privatisation is going. I have already asked an independent think-tank, the Institute for Direct Democracy in Europe, to investigate and report back."
It is understood that Mr Farage is anxious to restore balance to the Corporation's European coverage. Talks have already begun with the Netherlands' Party for Freedom with a view to replacing all BBC-Parliament's reports from the EU with "The Geert Wilders Hour".
Mr Farage sees no conflict of interests in retaining his rôle as political adviser to Fox News. He also plans to stay on as a Member of the European Parliament. Replying to criticism at the time he took the job with Fox, Mr Farage said: "those who are professional politicians always need to climb the greasy pole because it is their only chance to boost their earnings. The politician with outside interests is much freer. I can do a much better job on the occasions when I visit Brussels."
[Later] In the past I have removed my pre-lunch posts of April 1st. I have left this one up as I feel it may prove to be prophetic.