George Osborne is said to be highly delighted with the successful privatisation of the Royal Mail and is optimistic that there will be even greater rewards (some of which may even come back to the taxpayer) from the next, the Land Registry. I confidently expect the sell-off of the Church of England to be in the next Queen's speech. Negotiations are already under way with an established brokerage, Brown Madoff Stanford Partners, which will ensure that shares will end up in the hands of hedge funds which have the best interests of the British government at heart. (This mechanism has been decided upon because of the valuation of no more than £500m which has been put on the church estate by an independent valuer, BMSP Estates Ltd. Few of the buildings can be used for other purposes, and many occupy land in run-down urban areas.) Ten per cent of the shares will be divided between communicants who can prove that they have been christened.
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